Friday, October 11, 2013

I've been married six years, do you want my advice?

When my husband and I first started spending a lot of time together, I seemed to have a lot of conversations with people who wondered what we had in common. "What do you guys like to do?"
I would open my mouth as if I had an answer ready and then realize "wait... what do we like to do?"
Part of me would panic as I questioned our entire relationship wondering how smart it would be to marry someone with whom I had so few interests in common.

I'll tell you what we don't do:
We aren't that couple who bike (or hike, or run, or ski, or even go to the gym together)
We don't travel (unless you count 30 minutes to IKEA for fish and chips on Fridays for $1.99)
We can't afford to be foodies or movie aficionados, even if we wanted to be.
We're not "dog people" or even "cat people."
We don't play sports, and although I follow some baseball, my enthusiasm for football rarely exceeds that of having a bowl of chili (or a hot dog) while the game is on in the background. My husband, on the other hand, could tell you that Shaquille O'Neal missed 5,317 free throws in his NBA career. (if you asked, of course.)
I like romantic comedies and dramas. He likes action and thrillers.
I have a sweet tooth. He has a steak tooth.
I'm a bit of a neat freak (or at least used to be) and he is... well, he has his own way ;)

The main thing we hold in common is our faith. We both share a faith in God and in Jesus Christ as our savior and redeemer. We both choose to worship together several times each week. We both strive to live our lives according to that faith and seek to base all other decisions on that faith. I'd say that's a pretty good starting point!

The other thing we do is laugh.

 I didn't really think about it much until I came across this picture recently, but we laugh a lot. We laugh at ourselves, at each other (with love), and with each other. One of my favorite things about Chris is his sense of humor. Ladies- look for a man who will make you laugh. I consider it a source of pride when I make him laugh. His humor is pretty discerning; no lazy jokes allowed. He makes me think.
Now that we have three small children, the opportunities for laughter have increased exponentially. Our family is a laughing family. Our hopes for our family are our joint mission.
We have a unity in our faith, a lightness in our laughter, and a purpose in our family.

So after all that anxiety at the beginning, I've found that what we do together is Faith, Laughter and Family.


  1. We don't "do" much, either. People put far too much emphasis on entertainments and hobbies as a way to connect. I'd like to see them go back in time to the days when marriages were expected to last forever and tell those folks that the key to their happiness was to have a date once a month without the kids or take up hiking together. Bwahaha!

    We talk and laugh, and that's about it! And it's enough! We "do" life together.

  2. Did you post this to Facebook? I guess I missed it! I love this. I don't begrudge couples who can go on weekly or even monthly date nights, (well maybe a wee bit) but I think the danger in that kind of thinking is that if you can't have a strong marriage if you *don't* do those things. Totally disagree with that. We "do" life too. ;)

    1. I think I did... On my blog fb page, anyway.
      I get really annoyed at the constant advice to go on dates and "get away" from the kids. We enjoy the occasional short solo dates as much as the next couple, but we know we can't rely on those types of things to sustain our marriage because they aren't always an option. Glad to have some friends who "do" life :)


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